The best way to resolve conflicts over family meals is by sharing responsibility.
It is a useful and effective strategy: it allows you to manage behaviors that put parents at the table in difficulty (children who have a tantrum, oppose what has been prepared, ask for food and then refuse it, etc.), improve family relationships and is a concrete aid to the prevention of eating disorders.
My child does not eat, does not accept what has been prepared, expresses a preference and then does not want it anymore .. these are all behaviors that literally drive parents crazy. And if the weight of your child falls below the growth curves, then the red alarm goes off and worry and fear are added! When I first read Dr. E.Satter's "sharing of responsibility" (https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/) I had a bit of the impression of a magic formula, because in its simplicity it contains a strategy applicable in everyday life and in a very concrete way. Ellyn Satter is a dietician, family therapist and internationally recognized authority on nutrition, particularly in developmental age. Her magic formula is a sharing of responsibility: that of the parents is to take care of WHAT, WHEN AND WHERE to eat, while the children must be left with the responsibility of deciding HOW MUCH to eat.
Children gradually learn to eat the quantities they need, not using the meal as a challenge of self-affirmation or emotionality linked to frustrating relational dynamics, but to enjoy the pleasure of the meal. Simple isn't it? Sometimes more said than done. However, what might make it difficult to apply responsibility sharing are the distortions of us adults. For example, our drive to control, the fear that a child will not eat enough, the disappointment of the efforts made in the kitchen (especially if we are not expert cooks or if we do not love to cook). However, it is good to always talk about it with a consultant, first of all the pediatrician and a psychologist expert in family and food relational dynamics. Targeted and non-therapeutic approaches, such as mindful eating for children and parents, are very useful trainings for preventing future eating disorders.
